Jake' Journal: The Riverdale Series Companion by Infante Bosco Janine

Author:Infante Bosco, Janine [Infante Bosco, Janine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-04-07T07:00:00+00:00

Dear Cara,

I’ve decided to stop using this journal as an outlet for me during my illness. Today is the first day I will begin to fill the blank pages with letters to you. If I told you everything that was going on in my head, you’d probably beat the crap out of me. I’m too weak and the truth is I’ve seen you fight and you could probably kick my ass even if I was feeling a hundred percent.

All our plans for the future have once again been put on hold due to Cancer. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’ll say it anyway. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you’re going through this shit storm. I probably should’ve waited until I knew if the chemotherapy had worked for sure, before I asked you to marry me. But I was so sure. I guess that’s what they mean by false hope. All the medical websites I’ve been looking at, there are these testimonials from Cancer survivors, and their families. Most of the time, after you’ve received chemotherapy, your life goes back to the way it was before you were diagnosed. They say you feel like you are reclaiming your life, and that’s what I thought too. I wasn’t naïve to think I would be in remission when the PET scan results came back, but I did think that the chemo had worked a little bit. I know you were just as disappointed as I was when the doctor said it had done nothing but damage some of my organs.

I know that no matter what, even if we had just remained friends, you still would be by my side. God allowed me time with the girl of my dreams and even allowed me to call her my fiancé. How could I ever complain? I can’t complain but I can be mad as hell can’t I? We should’ve had a lifetime to spend loving each other. Not a few fucking months. Bullshit, I call bullshit on this whole situation.

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